Drop it! Leave it! Come!
How our impulsive reactions are the opposite of helpful, and what to do instead
Scenario:
We open the front door to get the mail, and our beloved pup slips through and runs outside!
Impulsive reaction:
We instantly fear for our dog’s safety (which is entirely reasonable and appropriate).
What we want is for our dog to come back to us, or at the very least to stop moving away from us and toward potential danger (like a road).
On fear autopilot, we react impulsively:
Chasing/running after your dog — From their perspective, you are FINALLY taking an interest in their favorite game: chase! Chasing will not induce them to stop running nor will it make them run towards you. Instead, chasing encourages them to keep running away from you.
Yelling your dog’s name/ Yelling whichever verbal cue we use for recall (such as “Come!” or “Here!”)/ Yelling nonsense (from our dog’s perspective) like “Get back here right now!” — Dogs don’t use language like we do. Words, including our verbal cues, are just particular sound patterns from their point of view. Dogs respond more to tone, pitch, volume, and tempo of what you say than the actual words.
Dogs are absolutely capable of learning words and being able to differentiate many different ones and associate them with behaviors, objects, people, etc.. However, context and emotions matter. The way you say “Come!” when you are training in a safe environment, your dog is looking at you, and you’re smiling back is VERY different from the way you say the cue when you are desperate for it to work because your dog is in real-life danger.
To your dog, the verbal cue is no longer the same word they heard in training that made them stop or return. You are just making loud, distressed noises. Much like running towards them, yelling is unlikely to get your dog to stop running or to respond as they normally would to your verbal cues.
Fearful, insistent, or angry-sounding vocalizations are unlikely to get anyone to move towards you (even within our own species), and the same generally applies between dogs and humans.
Responding with Impulse Control:
For your dog’s safety, you need to maximize your probability of success in getting them to stop or return to you.
The first step is to control your immediate impulses. Freeze. Do not run toward your dog.
Instead, get excited! Clap and say something in your happiest, most excited voice. Squeak a squeaky toy if you have one on hand. Get your dog’s attention.
Finally, run away from them! Once you have their attention, run. Your dog will think you want to play and will then chase you.
Remember the plan, and practice it.
Freeze! (Don’t react impulsively. Respond intentionally.)
Get excited! (Activate cheerleader mode.)
Run away! (You run, they chase.)
Note: Don’t stop running when your dog starts moving towards you. Let your dog chase you right back into the house! Reinforce the response by celebrating your success enthusiastically and rewarding your dog when they catch you (and return to safety!).
We tend to get frustrated, embarrassed, and even angry when our dog’s ability to control their impulses falls short of our expectations. That’s understandable! We can’t control our feelings in the moment, but we can learn to curb our impulsive reactions and respond intentionally instead. Not only is it essential for our dog’s safety, but it’s also the least we can do considering the self-discipline we expect from them!
